Emotional rant. 

This episode really made me scared and think because….I have a close friend in an rp who thinks about killing herself a lot. She’s depressed and just doesn’t like her body. She wants to be some other girl, not herself. She really is nice and is one of my closest friends on here. Yesterday, just yesterday, she felt like going through with it and I nearly wasn’t there to help her. I was in a movie theater and I had to type on my cell during the movie to help her think against it. It was scary and my friends were telling me to stop but I couldn’t because it was so scary. So scary. I thought I would lose her. She ended up being okay though, partly because of me telling her to stay for me, to not give up. She’s only 15. Seeing this episode, I was shaken. With Kurt being remorseful that he didn’t answer any calls, I thought of what if I had not kept speaking to her? Would she have had done anything? Would I have had lost her? With Dave I just thought of her going through with it and I can’t help but cry even thinking of it. I sometimes wish I never got involved as a friend of hers, you know? I wouldn’t be feeling this way and all that. But I believe people come into other’s lives for reasons. I got her to keep her life going twice. I got her to feel better twice. I feel like I’m needed to be with her. It sucks sometimes, when you know that you are probably the only thing stopping her and when she won’t listen, doesn’t believe you that things will get better because they aren’t. But I work for her and I try to make it better. Hopefully, one day she’ll see that her life is worth something. Anyway though, that’s kind of what this night’s Glee brought me to think. It made me feel like a wreck, but it’s what I feel. Plain and simple. I had to get it out somewhere.